When we think about happiness and success there is a certain level that we are comfortable with. We want to be in control of our happiness and success but the control can hold us back and allow us to only reach a certain level of happiness and success.

Going up a level is all about perception and just like playing a video game you need to overcome obstacles, kill the bad guy, generate power and extra lives to take it to the next level.

Of course you can continue to stay on that level and make the same mistakes, repeat the same habits and instead moving up a level continue to self-sabotage yourself and stay put. You know things you do to yourself by staying in a job you know you should leave, all the excuses to not starting your own business, not letting anyone love you or keeping yourself in physical pain because its all you know.

For me, my self sabotage techniques to keep myself playing on the same level is getting completely run down, write myself off with alcohol, distract myself with unnecessary projects, and my favourite one, procrastination. Think back to a time when things started to feel good, a new job, a new relationship, your health picked up, promotion at work, issues getting sorted. Did your self-sabotage and your upper limit restrictions kick in?

The first step to raising your upper limits is awareness.

Do you know what your self-sabotage techniques are? Think about times when you got in your own way of success and become aware of what you did. It’s helpful to write down the triggers, your response and the outcome.

As soon as things start to flow and I take things up a level that is out of my usual comfort zone, these are things I catch myself doing.

Gay Hendricks, the author of “The Big Leap”, talks about this in detail and talks about techniques that will take things to the next level.

One way of doing this is asking “wonder” questions, and letting your subconscious and conscious self think about things like:

I wonder what I could do to open myself to be loved?

I wonder how my life would look like with financial freedom?

I wonder what I could change in the company I work for if I changed my attitude and perspective?

I wonder why I’m always sick and how it would be to feel healthy?

Be ready to start to ponder and have conversations of possibilities with yourself.

Wonder questions help open up your heart to take it up a level.

For me, this means becoming aware of my self-sabotage, and that awareness gives me the strength to challenge them. When I feel that feeling arises in me, I can make a conscious decision whether to give in to it or challenge it.

We all have these upper limit restrictions – for some, these upper limits are out-of-the-stratosphere high from the perspective of someone whose upper limits are “just a little better than what I have now.”

Now you have a label for the self-sabotage that keeps you from being successful and happy. If you hadn’t heard about upper limits before, it’s time to start thinking about it.

For me, it’s an ongoing journey of self-discovery and taking that moment to say “YES, I am so proud of me, proud of where I’ve come from and so excited about where I am going.” It’s about giving myself the chance at success because I deserve it. You do too.